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Participants: RealityProf [RP], AneristArchivist [AA]

[AA] so I hear Richard the late lamented Third finally got his re-internment
[AA] I love it when a Plantaganet comes together
[RP] …
[RP] You are why I drink, Edward Kensington-James.

Been hearing chatter from a number of students. Scuttling sounds, brief glimpses of small black *somethings* darting in and out of the shadows around campus. Hopefully it’s rats.

Oh gods please let it be rats. Something simple and straightforward. Something I can recount to a stranger without getting *that* look in response, just one thing that makes sense beyond this insane asylum of a town.

Let me please have this.

This week’s movie night at Melt and Drakes is taking the form of a Star Blazers marathon. We are currently in serious talks with Elandra Desmond regarding the practicalities of installing a Wave Motion Cannon onto the HMS Victory.

ChatterFox© Client
Participants: RealityProf [RP], AneristArchivist [AA]

[AA] ok my turn for lucid nocturnal nonsense
[AA] all aboard the crazy train, detour at Bullshit Junction likely
[RP] Lies and Slander. I find the inner workings of your mind palace to be a locale both fascinating and rich with psychological insight.
[AA] nothing to do with spinning my delirium into phat loots on the lecture circuit?
[RP] My thesis was on a civilisation comprised of magic books and a slave race of teleporting ant people
[RP] There is a reason I am not taken seriously in legitimate academia.
[RP] But that’s neither here nor there. Continue.
[AA] So in this dream
[AA] I come across an ex of mine whilst browsing certain periodicals
[AA] and discover evidence that she has become shall we say
[AA] a participant in certain sordid celluloid missives
[AA] to wit – an adult film actress
[AA] highly regarded, allegedly. Trophies and whatnot.
[RP] …
[AA] you’re reeling at the possibilities, aren’t you
[AA] take your time.
[RP] I’m reeling, certainly.
[RP] An ex I am acquainted with?
[AA] I shall not say, only that she would be the last person I’d expect to take that swerve of a career change.
[RP] Dare I ask where the crazy train gets uncoupled?
[AA] That’s just it
[AA] I spent the remainder of it fact checking, questioning sources and applying liberal use of Reverse Imagesearch
[AA] on this point – and this point alone, for the first time in my life I am consciously aware of – I needed total and absolute, stand-up-in-court verification
[AA] Do you understand me
[AA] Can you grasp the extent of my heinous crime
[AA] When confronted with the possibility that an ex I left on reasonably good terms with was putting her years of equestrianism to the best possible use
[AA] I chose to spend the short time I had
[AA] in a dreamscape of limitless possibility that I had *total* control over
[AA] going full Randi.
[RP] …
[RP] Well.
[RP] A change of pace from the norm, certainly.
[RP] And from one viewpoint, your restraint is really quite admirable.
[AA] To blazes and buggery with admirable
[AA] Ive been in a cold sweat for the past 7 hours
[AA] trawled through many social networking sites the adverts I’ve been getting are now tailored to either the criminally insane or recently deceased
[AA] and this translation of the Revelations of Glaaki I’m working on is not helping
[AA] to the point I’m dangerously close to inventing an entirely new subgenre of erotica
[AA] to fix my clearly broken mind
[AA] …
[AA] …
[AA] You’re making notes on all of this aren’t you
[RP] Have been for some time, yes.

Done and done, the pile is no more.

Now I realise why a film focusing on Dr. Henry Jones Jnr. doing his damn job for once would be the most boring thing put to a visual medium.

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Participants: RealityProf [RP], EchoOfDni [EOD]

[RP] That’s the third mock exam I’ve read comparing the original inhabitants of D’ni with Morlocks.
[RP] Its official
[RP] They’re screwing with me.
[EOD] They’re students, dear.
[EOD] It’s what they do.
[EOD] They have unions and everything.
[RP] Always a bad sign. Something must be done.
[EOD] About unions? We can let you borrow Ron Paul if you like.
[RP] HAH. No thanks.
[RP] You’ve read Duke’s blog. He’d be lucky to escape an interview with one functioning limb.
[RP] Although a blimp full of gold could come in handy…
[EOD] Mmm, airship piracy.
[RP] I was thinking duels with swords
[RP] Possibly over the Houses of Parliament in the middle of a thunderstorm.
[RP] Abney Park blaring, the chimes of Big Ben sounding out throughout the land
[RP] Punctuated with the clashing flurry of shining blades
[RP] The stuff of epics writ large.
[EOD] You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you.
[RP] Not at all.
[RP] (Yes I have.)

As I sift through this massive pile of mock exam submissions, I realise that it has been a little over four months since anyone has tried to end my life, human or otherwise.

Trying to decide my preference between finishing the lot tonight or facing a harpoon in the throat from one of his Fearship’s miremen.

This is not an easy choice.

The clerk at the local Yahtzeebrand is really starting to grate. Every trip across the street to refuel on crucial Merlot is now met with a lecture on the aspects of Nihilism and why it is the One Ultimate Truth.

I suspect Yahtzeebrand management has been cutting its personnel’s Prozac rations in a cost-saving tactic. A short sighted measure. Grocery shopping and the ambience of a Leonard Cohen concert do not combine well, as a general principle.

Something must be done. Tempted to suggest to Edward that he slips one of his cards in with his change and ordain him as a Pope of Discordianism on the sly.

Night out at Scids did not go well. In hindsight, it was a mistake to bring up the subject of my previous evening’s dream in a town that once narrowly survived being totally ripped apart by an army of possessed kittens. Were Thakbor not on hand to stare down two angry looking off-duty security guards who looked as though they were ready to dispense more than harsh words, I fear for what might have happened.

Sometimes I really do know how to put my foot in it.

ChatterFox© Client
Participants: RealityProf [RP], AneristArchivist [AA]

[RP] so I’ve just woken from a dream
[RP] where everything was run by cats.
[AA] …
[AA] We talking shadowy cabal, or legitimate system of governance here
[RP] Politicians, law enforcement, all authenticated twitter celebrities
[RP] Everything was cats
[AA] I can’t imagine much was getting done
[AA] Cats are not known for their long-term agendas and administrative savvy
[RP] That was the thing
[RP] All seemed to function smoothly
[RP] No chaos or protests or suspicious killings involving scratches and the occasional playbite
[RP] I fear I have seen a glimpse of the future and it is whiskers in shoes.
[AA] We must inform the Internet. This could be a game changer, people should be warned.
[RP] I feel I would have trouble getting the word out
[RP] For a number of reasons